Fear of marriage
Worries and fear of getting married
If you worry before getting married or even fear getting married - then you can be absolutely sure that the one you might have in mind is the totally wrong one in your present situation. A life filled with almost daily struggle and total lack of true love and true happiness would be the result unless you go through the long and often expensive procedure of divorce.
Hence best solution if you have ANY worries or fear of marriage is to instantly part in friendship - even if your potential partner fully disagrees or even threats you to be your enemy - better an early separation BEFORE marriage than a life in darkness and emptiness without any true love.
A wrong partnership sucks - that means, a wrong partnership costs energy, draws energy away from you and reduces or totally stops YOUR creativity and productivity, while the right partnership leaves you from the very first moments in a truly uplifting environment where instantly - instantly means from the VERY first meeting - your potential NEED for sleep is considerably reduced and your creativity, inspiration and productivity jumps way UP !!
Even a NO to marriage at the altar of the church in the very last seconds - needing far more courage AND honesty to your VERY OWN HEART and SOUL - is still better than a yes as a result of cowardice and the procedure of a later divorce or lifetime partnership without the thrill of TRUE love.
I am going to marry in a month or so and I am very much depressed by my situation in life
Dear Beloved Hans
I am very much depressed by my situation in life.
I am going to marry in a month or so . My Fiancee is a very emotional and sensitive type of person.
She is not able to handle a critical situation in life. I am very much worried of my career and also of her.
is all your concern about love and happiness with your fiancee or with your career ???
for her the single most important is whether she is able to receive love from you !
if your concern is career, then she knows that there might be little or no love at all to be expected. that means she knows that she is facing a life time sentence to a life empty of any love. a life that might be devoted only to money and career.
- have YOU ever been talking to her about your concerns, have you ever been talking to HER about LOVE.
- do you LOVE HER.
- did you ever TELL HER that you truly love her.
- are you sure you know what love is
- do you feel like walking through the streets of a big city and giving everyone a big hug or telling everyone "I love you".
- are you happy when she is near you and happy when she is away from you as well.
- Are you happy to be able to make her happy ? If yes, did you PROOF it to her repeatedly - daily ?
- are you happy to see her happy even if someone else is making her more happy than you could make her happy.
if you are missing that feeling of true and full love for her it is normal for her that she might be even frightened of you, she may be afraid of getting married, but the tradition in India has forced BILLIONS of persons into a marriage empty of love during the past several thousands of years. some developed love for each other or at least some kind of friendship, some broke on this task.
if she is intellectually strong and spiritually looking forward to God and spiritual development, then there are chances your marriage may succeed, else it might be best to either cancel it completely or at least postpone it to any later date.
Only your heart shall decide to get married or NOT
But your body may have to pay the price for a wrong decision - financially as well !!
since it is your very own life and happiness you and no one else but YOU need to make a clear and positive decision. since the decision eventually involves another person, you may best talk directly to that very person. this is a talk between you and her. all others should and must stay out of this decision and talk. that means it should be conducted outside your home, in a holy temple or in nature. pray first and ask God for love, bliss and a solution of love for all souls involved. but God may give you freedom to make your own decision.
your own decision should be according to what you feel deep inside your heart and soul. do you feel true love, do you want to truly love her and learn all that might be necessary to become a man able to make her truly happy.
Do you KNOW what a girl really NEEDS to be happy ?
it only would be possible to succeed in your partnership and marriage if you both have God and spiritual progress toward God as a mutual common goal for this entire incarnation. love should be the only priority in your life. love nothing but love. anything else may be detrimental and destructive - particularly concerns about money or career. what does a woman do without love. the same as a man without love - die. die of starvation of love.
make up your mind now while it still is time. it may be time at any later moment in your life to make any changes - but
now it IS MUCH EASIER than later.
if anyone else wants you to marry her - then tell this person - and even if it is your very own father or mother - to marry your fiancee in your place. this may sound like a joke but it is a serious trick to wake up others trying to manage your own life. if anyone wants to manage your life then he / she should also life your life and take full responsibility for it. again talk to your fiancee and solve this situation in love with her.
she is the one concerned more than anyone else. as she may either get a lifetime imprisonment in your home of heaven on earth with you - depending on YOUR LOVE for her or your love for your career. she can only truly and fully love you when she receives all your love and when you continuously remain in a true relationship to God and if maintaining an attitude of herself being a daughter of the divine.treat her like an angel on earth and she may be one for you.
If you have failed to proof true love before marriage - then you may fail during marriage as well
if you miss the power and maturity to do so - then refrain from getting married and stay free to grow and become strong - strong in loving anyone and everyone before ever considering getting married. if you have learned to take full responsibility and care of yourself then you may start to get involved with other persons life and happiness.
your own spiritual development usually is a full time job. but how much time would be left for your family if you are busy all the time with your own concerns and your own career.
making others happy - truly happy requires to know what truly makes you happy as well. how could SHE ever make you happy if you may still have to learn to find it out !
I love you
may be your fiancee would like to talk about her situation as well - here on this forum. she is cordially invited to do so - from the depth of my heart and soul. please tell her so.
Beloved hans and Beloved Prasad,
Forgive me if I am not supposed to write on this page.
Dear Prasad I love you and I'll pray for you to take the right decision. I was not ready at all when I had to get married and now I am experiencing the setbacks, though God is loving me and I am getting guidance from every one. Hans I love you and pray to you again and again for showing me the right approach as when it is needed.
I often get the feeling to hug every one on the road. Once my co worker said she is not keeping well and could not take rest. I told her if she wants she could take when ever she wants and I can cover. It came from my heart and as I said that, tears were about to come from my eyes though she did not see that ?
Is this love or is it just an emotion? I do not know.
Dear Prasad, may good lord show you the way and I will include you in my prayers for your journey towards loving yourself.
love and prayers.
you may well include such loving post for another soul of our family. that is the intent of this forum to create an open family helping each others on our way to God.
when tears come up these are just hidden emotions, hidden from the past. it is the other person's soul that reaches your heart and makes you show some tears. tears is love that flows and heals injury to your emotional body. particularly in India people seem to have forgotten how to show in public any emotion or how to show in public that they love each other. and when listening to their souls you hear all souls sad and craving for love. this is very typical for India. a 1 billion people craving for love on the physical level.
the intent of this web site and forum is to help you learning to love again and then love and help each other around the world - across all continents - free of any names and organizations - free of any cultures or religions - just from heart to heart from soul to soul - with divine bliss and love from God and all saints helping and loving you all.
I love you all
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