A mother abandons her baby boy and give him free for adoption. That baby boy - rejected and dumped by his mother for unknown reasons - fell into deepest emotional distress and pain. Missing his mother, yet denied by law to find his mother and to receive healing mother love from TRUE physical mother.
During the various eMail correspondence we had - Pete said:
i LIKE my mother ( meaning adoption - mother !! ) and I hate all women !!
Note that his "i like" - is totally different from "i love" !! Pete only likes his adoption-mother ...
He likes his adoption mother because she adopted him from an orphanage - hence taking him out of the orphanage and in the eyes of the young man Pete plays a role of a rescuer in his life. Rescuing him from orphanage.
However the simple fact - for unknown reasons - that his TRUE physical mother abandoned him has lead to a deepest hate against all females - all women and since every person male or female needs love - he turned toward men to find love. Every person needs physical love, touch, skin to skin., hugging, ...
If for whatever reason a shock in life - usually in early life like here with Pete - results of full rejection of all potential partners from opposite sex, then homosexuality occurs.
The very same also happens in females who then either turn to other females and become lesbian or are afraid of becoming females like the own mother and refuse to turn into female woman.
As for Pete - the only normal procedure for emotional and spiritual healing would be to SEE his direct true mother ! However certain countries or states simply deny the right to find out the true parents - even if the children are already of legal age.
Pete may suffer until he dies and far beyond into next incarnation and many incarnations to come. One such accident may lead to hundreds or thousands of years of life wasted and destroyed. A loss of true mother, a denial of a physical mother to give mother love, to breast feed and care for her own baby is very comparable to the damage of an abortion that occurs in a soul.
a few ways are open to Pete for a healing solution:
If however such readiness is missing, then such readiness for reconciliation often occurs after an extended period of severe pain and distress.
Through deeper suffering victims often find or create the readiness to meet his true mother and when this readiness is present again, then file a lawsuit against the state who denies the right to know the true origin and address of his physical mother - then meet her and get in peace with her.
Her reasons for giving her baby very early away may have been much different from what Pete thinks or imagines. Like a young mother finding herself in financially poor situation or jobless or young and thinking of having too little to offer and too little money for a beloved baby or too poor / too simple situations of life to offer for a truly beloved baby.
Hence it may well - as many times - be an excess of love combined with a total lack of self esteem and self confidence combined with a lack of true friends or true parents of her own - leaving her all alone, separated from God with a beloved baby.
The only normal solution to solve Pete's pain and distress is meeting his physical mother. His shock from being dumped BY THAT physical mother makes such solution temporarily impossible. The shock from having been denied love and being dumped once may be far too deep and painful to ever try to approach that person again.
Since the damage - in Pete's "eyes" has been created - it can only be solved and healed most efficiently by another female being. His denial to become straight however may keep him at a distance to all females making such healing impossible.
The other normal method of healing would be a true angel like other woman - truly spiritual - to heal him.
Pete however strictly rejected any possible healing from his homosexuality - he hates all women - hence he wants to remain homosexual and never become straight as he said.
That is at least the present temporary situation.
A spiritual healing on the basis of intense therapy can make an instant healing possible. However it requires Pete's readiness to search for karmic reason for such experience and pain. It also requires his readiness to accept full responsibility of his entire life and any possible karma he suffered trough.
healing through spiritual progress is very difficult in his situation. Why ? Since he hates all women - that means most of his heart is totally destroyed by his deep and expanded hate against half of humanity. Hence his hate also is between himself and God. Pete's hate prohibits or strongly restricts the flow of kundalini and disturbs his entire spiritual body.
A precondition for any spiritual progress and success is missing - to be in peace with all and to love all !!!
Fully withdrawing from earthly life - in nature - far away from human society and devoting all life may be another solutions quite unlikely to be practiced by the many millions on this planet being in a similar parental situations as Pete.
- his father ? that never occurs to him !
- his mother ? but he has zero knowledge why she dumped him. all he knows or feels that he has been abandoned and dumped like a peace of shit. That is his innermost feeling and the result is extreme emotional pain and a permanent danger of suicide. No normal therapy can solve such, no tranquilizer can prevent suicidal thoughts. The CAUSE must be healed and that can only be done by bringing mother and son together.
- himself .. ? YES of course another option who to blame is to blame himself for having failed to LOVE all - including his mother who may have made a severe mistake and thus may have cause tremendous pain - but it still is his own responsibility to love all whatever they have done to him.
The last solution - legal or illegal - is that the true mother searches her abandoned baby boy ! The law may prohibit it - never mind - laws are ego made - such laws to make it possible to give a baby away for adoption and have baby and mother for a life time separated are illegal on their own. Such laws should never be allowed to exist. Every baby has a divine right to know his personal physical true parents - no matter who they are and what they do or have done !
Every mother and every father has a divine birthright to see or meet at any time his true physical children. Such is the law of God and infinitely above all and every human law on earth.
During later years of life - a mother may start to have remorse and may develop more and more a true and sincere desire to find her baby again and to love her baby or ask for forgiveness. The mother herself may lack to find peace of mind and peace in heart in all her life and may need healing as well. No one else on earth but the abandoned son may give such healing.
A mother in remorse may start searching and fight for her rights as mother. Laws may change in USA and make a family reunion possible. She may have to fight for such a change in law. She may have to PROOF her true sincere love toward her baby by extreme action of love and efforts of love - else he may never belief her.
A mother is a child of God and can easily develop such infinite true divine love !! Love makes strong and a loving mother can easily overcome all self or other wise created obstacles for a loving happy-end and meeting with a lost baby or abandoned baby.
Adoption parents - step parents - have absolutely no right whatsoever for such a baby ! A human never can be property of anyone. a human first of all is free to see the true parents no matter what ever they may have done or what reason they had to give a baby free foradoption.
Here are 2 people - mother and son - who have to proof to be able to love like true divine children of God - made to the image of God !!
June 18th 98:
Pete from New York wrote:
You asked me if I wanted God or a career, funny, because I truly want God, but feel stuck to find a career, almost abandoned. Like I don't have much of choice, but to fight a struggle for everything.
If God would just make it as easy as asking us a question. Like for instance, he'd just show up at my door, and say, "Pete, do you want to come back with me, or stay here?" Of course I'd say, "I'll go with you!
" But how do I do that?
I want to just leave this earth and all it's misery.
I don't think I've ever been so truly, soul crying, miserable before in my life.
Sir, is there something, anything to take me out of this dark mind set, these unbearable days of existence in suffering.
If I didn't know that suicide was karmically very bad for one's soul, I'm sure I would have done myself in. But I don't even get that rest. I would love to work, if it were God, I mean really for God, but I just don't know for sure.
He doesn't talk to me, Oh how I wish just to hear his voice, just once even, then I'd know he was there, that he loved me, that I could tell him, I want to come home, I'm sad here.
One danger on the way to God is disappointment and inner struggle. Any kind of fighting and struggle creates negative energy (vibration) within you and thus pulls you down, in addition it attracts people with a similar vibration to be around you. So all you see around you are mirror - Pete's, with some exception of course.
You should never strive for God just to leave the earth because of all the many problems and struggles we have here.
But learn to create the vibration of love within your self in every situation and all the time. If your own vibration of your personality has become a vibration of pure selfless and Divine Love - then you will certainly attract God - because you found the Key to God. Love is the Key to God and every spiritual tradition of any kind on this planet is but to teach you how to get to this "highway of love leading to God". The final steps on your way to God - no matter what spiritual preparation you made - will be you becoming a being of Divine Love and Light and then merging with God. Like two candle-lights becoming one.
Learn to understand that all the fighting we encounter on this planet is due to missing love or even worst due to active fighting, struggle, hate, ... missing love for every single being. There is no reason for any fighting in your life. Just start to learn day by day to solve all daily duties and jobs of any kind with a loving attitude within yourself.
Of course this may be difficult or impossible in certain jobs. So select your job that you find a career that allows you a friendly attitude and relationship with all your customers and coworkers. Just remember: Whatever you do is coming back to you. If you create and seed friendliness and love around you and within you, that is exactly what is coming back to you.
Some people however need because of their past incarnations and lessons to be learned at least for a short period of time a surrounding where they encounter at least some fighting and struggle to make them aware of the importance of pure and selfless love among all mankind. Once you realize how nice it is to only love, nothing else but love whatever you do, then it may be time for a change. Start to strive for love, develop love within you day by day and you will succeed - of course you will, because you are made to the image of God and he is pouring his Divine Bliss and love upon you ever since he created you. A change of your surroundings, job, career, living quarter of city or even country you are living in. God wants every person to be happy, to enjoy life. But he also wants you to understand the importance of love - and realize this Divine love within you - for the rest of eternity. Always remember: we all are everlasting being of love, children of God to live for eternity. Created by God to always be welcome and stay with God Billions of years ... eternally. To do this, our very own vibration must adapt to the high and ever-loving vibration of God.
If you are struggling or desperate, then your vibration is low - your aura is filled with a cloud of your very own energy separating you from God. He never parted from you - we, mankind on earth parted from him. He always loved us but we for some time stopped loving him. This love-less aura is separating you from God. Dissolve all that separates you from God by expanding your love to more and more persons more and more often. Until you reach a state where you are always loving every person - no matter what the person did or is doing to you or anyone else !
Why is suicide bad Karma for anyone ? The answer is quite simple - it is a violence against you - against a Divine Child of God. Every person, every creature he made is a part of himself. This means that whatever you do to anyone, including your Body, your personality or your soul or any other being, you are doing to God. One lesson to be learned is to love all other persons or being on earth and beyond earth. The other lesson is to allow God and all other being to love you. On earth he sometimes send you his love through another person, because he clearly realizes that some people have forgotten to feel his presence and receive consciously his Divine guidance. So he may send you a physical person to bring you his message. Always consider every single person as being part of God. Even if most persons don't realize this. A blind person may still get a sunburn - even though he does not see the Sun. Any spiritually blind person still gets all the bliss, guidance and Divine love from God.
Everything in Gods creation has a very particular reason. So do all the struggle that he allows mankind to have. He surely knows that we are always in safety, because we are always within God's creation - even better - we are always within God. One day soon you will merge with God and you realize this truth.
I explain more precisely and you will understand:
Ice - water - vapor.
It's always the same - chemically H2O. The only difference is the vibration of one and the same material. Even though ice is the same (or made of the same) as vapor, it cannot become one (merge) with vapor until its vibration has been raised to the same as the vibration of vapor. With ice this is done by heating ice until it melts and further heating until it evaporates. Heating causes an increase of the vibration of the matter heated. Every matter can be heated until it evaporates. It is just a question of temperature it needs.
Mankind is made to the image of God and mankind is made out of the very "material" that God is made of. He made us out of himself, out of his very own holy spirit. Some saints called it "we are thoughts of God" or "a dream of God". This simply means that he created us in his "mind" and we started to be, he materialized us by the power of his Divine will and imagination until we had all the potential within us that he also had within himself and he gave us his Divine potential to spiritually grow and express eternal love one day the very same way he ever did.
So there is no difference between the substance of our personality - soul - God. The difference is merely a question of different vibration. His Divine love is an extremely high vibration (like vapor above) - the vibration of our personality (Ego) is usually quite low (like ice above). By increasing the quality of our thoughts and feelings we are increasing our very own vibration - until there is only love - nothing but love and one day we will have the same vibration as God has and merge with him. Every single person, every single soul will do so - for sure !!
Imagine an iceberg floating in the ocean. The ice never can say it was separated from the ocean even though it cannot merge with it. An iceberg always was surrounded by the ocean and swimming in the ocean until the warmth of the ocean and sun melted the ice - then finally the ice can become one (merge) with the ocean.
The same truth and Divine principle applies to the relationship between mankind and God. We always have been (and are) surrounded by God and we still are of the same holy spirit he made us. Never have we been really away from God. It's all in our mind. We have the freedom that God gave us (God is free - and we are made to his image - so he gave us the same freedom as he ever had). Day by day we can decide to fight or to love, to cheat or to be honest, . . . and so on. We have the freedom to lower or to raise the vibration of our thoughts, to get "closer or move away" from God. But in reality we always areas close as we ever have been - in his very middle !!
The low vibration of an Ego does usually refrain us from consciously be aware of his omnipresence and loving guidance. If during the process of Kriya Yoga or any other suitable spiritual practice, we manage to permanently increase our vibration by freeing the Divine soul and our potential of Divine love - we start to feel his presence more and more. First during meditation and if we manage to remain peaceful and radiate actively love toward every person, every being encountered even after meditation, then we may feel his omnipresence, love and guidance even in our daily live.
Everything here is like a game - a learning game for us (children of God made to his image) to grow and become fully awakened mature children of God. God is the almighty creator. We are his children - made to his image. That means we have got a Divine potential of creativity. To be creative is our nature and we should learn to care and redevelop. We all have the potential of being saints and we should take care of this very Divine potential God gave us.
If one day you have learned the lessons of your present environment, then it may be time for a change. Time for a complete change. There is plenty to do on this planet. Millions of people are suffering in one way or another. Starving, being ill, hopeless, sad, desperate, ...
Think about what you really would
like to do. Deep inside every person dwells a Divine potential - a creative
potential of doing something that is interesting and enjoyable for you,
as well as beneficial for all other people around you. Something that does
never harm a single being while at the same time enjoying or helping many.
Pray to God to help you and he will show you. But be completely open for
his guidance and answer. Any attachment to a particular place or person
may prevent you from accepting the very best solution he may offer you.
I love you and so does God.
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