I read your post I felt for you and though I have to stop this guy from herting more people. Please don't give up. Please don't listen to this guy. he is an egotist and a fake. Please don't feel like you are a bad person. Please don't be hard on your self. I seriously no lie, no fake have experienced God. and just because I have experieced God do'se not mean I am better than any one. this guy has no compassion. You are right God is natural. I did not meditate to experience God. I found God in nature. I can tell you about my experieces and try to help you get God human to human no teacher student rubbish. we are all equal. I just want to share the love I have found from God. Please no that some one cares. Just follow you conciense and you will find God. God is everthing that is pure and good.guy is a fake please check out this link to see for your self.