Parting from a wrong partner, I need your guidance

Posted by: God Love
cantruchd registered
at 12/12/2006, 23:02:55

Dear Hans and other beloved members of this forum

I need your guidance.

We’ve been a couple for 2 years. However, at the beginning I knew that I don’t love her much. But I told her that I love her because I’m afraid she would cry if she knew that I don’t love her. For 2 years I always try to make her happy. I fulfill most of her wish to the most my ability. I behave to her like any real lover would behave. I tell her I love her again and again. Though I know in the deep of my heart that I don’t love her, I thought that I would never tell her that truth until the end of this life. And she doesn’t recognize, she loves me a lot, I think.
However, as I real your text about real love, I know that I’m wrong, and I met another girl who gave me the signal of real love, human love at least.
So I decide to tell her the truth. You said that it just took 3 minutes. Well, it takes much longer than that. She cries a lot. She didn’t understand why I said such painful words to her after I made her love me so much (I think so). And she has changed. Before, she never accept my advise her to practice yoga, she said she would never forgive those who say goodbye to her forever, and she would never forgive those who betray her. Before, she would never do oral sex to me and said that she just could do that with her husband. But now, she says she will do everything to please me, she will practice yoga just because I want her to. She do oral sex for me though she knows that it would not bring me back to her, she do that just because I want her to. And though I don’t love her, I ask her to do that (I think I’m so selfish, just care for my feeling instead of hers).She said she will let me meet and love anyone and do anything with them, she then will accept me if I come back, she just needs me to be with her. But I didn’t accept because I think the more I be with her and don’t really love her, the more she would be hurt later.

But I feel so guilty because I lied to her. I make her love me though I don’t love her and when she loves me so much, I leave her. Am I right to leave her? Is her love for me true love: she loves me what ever I do or say, whether I’m good or bad. She said she will waits for me to come back to her. I see that she has become a different woman from the one I lied to.

Am I right to leave her? Am I rejecting her unconditional love? Should I come back and see if I could love her new characteristics?

Currently, I feel happy because I could do anything and meet anyone I like. I feel I’m free again. I wasn’t able to do that before because I’m afraid that would make her unhappy, so I was with her only and having very few friends. But she has been doing everything with me and now, when I leave her suddenly, she feels so upset because everything she do makes her miss me so much. And that makes me feel guilty and sorry so much. I blame myself for being so weak not to say goodbye to her earlier. I’m afraid that she won’t have a normal life without me. Am I too boasting?

I've met her this afternoon, and I think we still don't have peace.
My friend told me I should be normal and I should not try to be away from her, because: you set up the fire yourself, so now you must put it out yourself. But she told me she wouldn't want to see me, because when she sees me, she must talk to me and behave normally, but after that she would be very upset, so she want me to stay away from her

So dear Hans, please tell me what I should do: Leave and never meet her again, or come back with her, or be with her and with the one I really love at the same time, or ….?

I’m sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes I made. I’m waiting for your answer.
God bless.
Hoang Do Can Truc
Viet Nam

Replies To This Message:

God Love To lie is to betray - to pretend to love is to betray self and partnerlink hans 1 Wed, Dec 13, 2006, 03:02:47
thank you and I love you cantruchd 1 Sat, Dec 16, 2006, 22:46:45
God Love True love either exists from the first seconds or is missing in most cases for decades or all lifetimelink hans 1 Sat, Dec 16, 2006, 23:46:34
I still need your guidance cantruchd 1 Sat, Jan 13, 2007, 22:03:20
God Love Feeling loved by a person is the result of harmony and maturity in both lovers - lack of harmony or maturity is a reason to part at any given timelink hans 0 Sat, Jan 13, 2007, 23:10

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